Abstinence: Stop Doing It For Yourself, Do It For Daddy Instead!

So, we have yet another beauty of an abstinence article. I think a lot of us have heard of purity balls, but I just can’t stop being horrified by them. First off, there’s something a little Electra-complex-ish about pledging your virginity to your father (“I swear, Daddy, I will love no other man until on my wedding day you give me to my husband, who will then own me in your place!”). Also, why must the girl pledge to her father? Why can’t she pledge to remain a virgin for herself, for her own reasons? This is once again requiring some sort of male presence and guidance, whatever you want to call it. Also particularly great are some of the examples of these shining role models:

“It’s also good for me,” said Terry Lee, 54, who attended the ball for a second year, this time with his youngest daughter, Rachel, 16. “It inspires me to be spiritual and moral in turn. If I’m holding them to such high standards, you can be sure I won’t be cheating on their mother.”

I can only hope to one day have a marriage that healthy and fulfilling! I mean, if it requires your daughter’s virginity being at stake to keep you from cheating on your wife, you must have a really great marriage!

Recent studies have suggested that close relationships between fathers and daughters can reduce the risk of early sexual activity among girls and teenage pregnancy.

I don’t buy it. My dad is one of my best friends, and has been for just about as long as I can remember. We’ve always had a great, close relationship, but that didn’t stop me from getting involved in “early sexual activity”–looking back, holy crap was I young! All that happened was that I went to my dad to help me get a gyno appointment, get on the pill, etc. So via the theory of that article, there is no good reason that I should’ve started having sex so young, except that maybe I didn’t pledge my hymen to my father. 😛 However, I’ve turned out pretty much okay–this is probably because my dad, although he wanted to strangle my then boyfriend, did the right thing. He got me the care I needed, thanked me for coming to him rather than doing nothing, and gave me as much advice as he could.

Can any of the girls who went through those purity ball experiences feel confident that their fathers would do the same for them? Or do you think they are now even more terrified to broach the subject with their dads?

((Originally written 5/20/2008 for my LiveJournal and reposted here))

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06/06/2008. Tags: , . Uncategorized.

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