This… is… CAKETOWN!

It’s Friday. This morning, I biked to work and I’m spending most of the day sending silly emails to my mother, drinking green tea, and browsing the internet in search of the perfect bag (my military surplus bag is finally falling apart). I was going to write a serious post about education, literacy, and student empowerment. But you know what? Fuck it. It’s Friday. I’m wearing argyle panties. Today is not a day for being serious.

Instead, today I shall post the recipe for the goddamn delicious cake bars I made on Wednesday night while writing my qualitative research methods paper on the above serious topics. It’s important to intersperse your seriousness with dessert.

Almond Apricot Buttermilk Bars

  • 1 1/2 sticks of butter, softened
  • 1 1/2 cups of granulated sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 tsp or so vanilla extract
  • 2 1/2 cups of flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 2/3 cup well shaken buttermilk
  • a whole slew of chopped dried apricots (about 3/4 of a cup)
  • another healthy slew of chopped almonds (probably like 1/2 a cup but you’ve chopped it down so tiny that it’s basically powder, but it was probably about 1 cup to start with)

You will need an oven capable of being 350F. Go ahead and get that going. Hell, go ahead and grease a dish while you’re at it. I used a 9×9″ square tin, but then again, I have a tupperware of leftover batter in my fridge. Learn from my mistakes, young grasshopper.

In a big ol’ bowl, mix together yr butter and yr sugar. Get it smooth and fluffy, or at least relatively homogenized. Crack the eggs and add them in one at a time, mixing in between. Add the vanilla. Take a deep whiff of the delicious scent of the vanilla. Mix it on in.

Add your flour and buttermilk, alternating as you go and mixing each time you add something. Every time you add flour, you are going to get an arm workout, because this is some intense batter. It will fight you. Fight back! At some point, throw in the baking soda. I think I tossed it in during the second cup of flour. Whatevs. Get everything mixed up real smooth.

At this point, it’s totally okay to eat a little bit of the batter. It’s so good. Try not to eat as much of it as I did.

Dump the almonds and apricots into the batter. Admire how pretty they look. Sigh mournfully, and then fold them into the batter.

Remember that pan you greased? Get that thang and FILL IT. I only filled mine halfway, which was smart, because it turns out this stuff will rise. Depending on how tall you want your bars to be, fill accordingly.

Put it in the oven! I baked mine for about  25 minutes, I think. Use your thinking brain powers to ascertain if it’s done or not. I like the poke-it-with-yr-finger-then-stab-it-with-a-toothpick method.

When they’re done, pull ’em out and let ’em cool. Then nom the everloving hell out of them. I enjoyed mine with a big mug of hot cocoa and a couple chapters of Inga Muscio’s Cunt: A Declaration of Independence.

Happy Friday! Go forth and subvert the hell out of that dominant paradigm this weekend, but remember to make time for dessert. Every good deed deserves a tasty reward. 🙂


03/05/2010. Tags: . Uncategorized.

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