Vagina: The Videogame!

Good morning, my sweet muffins of delight. I know I usually don’t post until the afternoon, but today has already been so majestic. I realized that if I wrap a pashmina around my waist while biking to work I don’t get cold lower back (sure, I could just not wear low-rise jeans, but where’s the fun in that?), I had fresh strawberries for breakfast, and when I got to work, I got to write a nice long how-to for a girl who wants to put her boyfriend in handcuffs for the first time. If that doesn’t put a smile on your face, I don’t know what will.

But wait! It gets better!

There is now a videogame that takes place INSIDE A VAGINA.

You guys, I need to play this. You get to be a Marine wearing a condom hat while you travel through vaginas and destroy STDs and infections and stuff. Hell, you even get to do anal! I hope in the future they’ll release a version 2.0 where you get to repel down the shaft of a penis into the pubic hair jungle where you hunt crabs with sniper rifles. Or perhaps the next mission is the dangerous Operation: vasectomy!

I’m holding out hope that this will actually contain some information about the infections and bacteria you’re destroying–cause it sounds like hell of fun (if admittedly immature and silly fun), but you could actually teach some information under the surface.

They gave the Marines condom hats. They’re onto at least a little bit of something.

Also, I look forward to the coming glut of condom hats on Etsy. Please don’t disappoint me, universe.

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05/13/2010. Tags: , , . Uncategorized.

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